WhiteboyStyle.com //Offensive Humor At Its Best//

Saturday, November 17th, 2007

I Am 90% Of The Way, To Seeing It All Posted @ 7:34pm

I frigging saw lesbian midgets!

I was wishing I had a net, so I could catch them, put them in a jar, and place them by the window in my room, and study how they live!

As they lived in that jar, they would eventually learn to love me as their god. Once I earned their trust, I would squash them....

Like lesbian midget bugs!

(insert evil laugh here)

But then....

I would weep...

After all, do you know how hard it is to find lesbian midgets???

Actually, hold that thought!

(elevator music)

(elevator music)

(elevator music)

(elevator music)

Alright, after a quick, thorough search of Google, I have concluded that finding 1 lesbian midget is not so hard....but finding 2 together....that, my friends, is not an easy task!

By the way, if you are a lesbian midget, and you have a "lover" that would like to live with you, in a jar, by my window, feel free to contact me at: the_tedman@hotmail.com

That is all!
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I'm So Lazy...
Posted @ 7:20pm

I was thinking today, that I may be one of the laziest people in the entire world. I'm an extremely hard worker at work, but once I walk out those doors....I really don't feel like doing much...ever. Therefore, I started to make a list of things that I do, to find out exactly how lazy I really am.

I'm so lazy...

-I've tried to learn to use the force, so I don't have to get up and walk 2 feet to grab the remote.
-I sometimes wear Depends undergarments, so I don't have to get up to go to the bathroom.
-I got married, so I wouldn't have to do laundry, clean, or cook, ever again.
-I pay people to drive me around.
-I only change my underwear about once a week.
-I often ask my wife if I can pee in her, so I don't have to get up to go to the bathroom.
-I pee in the shower, so I don't have to get out and go to the bathroom.
-All I ever do in my dreams, is sit around on my ass.
-Whenever I see homeless people, I give em a nickel for a piggy back ride, so I don't have to walk (Chad, you should try that one)
-I only use digital clocks, so I don't have to figure out the actual time in my head.
-I occasionally sleep on the toilet, so I don't have to get up to go to the bathroom.