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Thursday, April 3rd, 2008

How I Spent Earth Hour

I know I'm a little late on this, but I guess sometime last week was Earth Hour, where everyones supposed to stop using electricity at the same time to better help the environment...or some crap. I think I owe all of you who participated, a huge thank you!

While you all had your lights out, I was roaming around, robbing everyone in the neighborhood!

I now have 38 copies of Bring It On on DVD (it was dark, give me a break!), and all of my neighbors tv remotes!

Now I just walk around at night and fuck with people by turning their tv on and off from outside their window!

I know it's creepy...but this is what I do for fun!
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Your #1 Source For Hot Fresh Urine

Got a drug test coming up?

Maybe if you fail you'll get thrown back in the slammer, or not get that new job?

Do you know you're pregnant, but need to hide the news for a few more months, and need to fake a pregnancy test?

Or do you just love pouring some strangers piss all over your naked body?

Well people, I am the man you need to see!!

My pee is officially for sale at the low, low, low, price of $100 dollars an ounce!! Now you can continue to smoke that blunt, snort those lines, and pop those pills, without fear of persecution from the man!!

Now available in different colors, and flavors, such as:

-Mellow Yellow
-Clear
-Beer Fizz
-Strawberry-Kiwi
-Asparagus
-French Toast

Don't be the dumbass who fails in life because they were too stupid to come buy an ounce of my liquid gold! Get yourself a glass today!

Always made fresh to order!

Also, coming soon, my new Frozen Piss Pops! Cool off on those hot summer days with the power of frozen piss!

I love my job!
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Same Shit, Different Blog

As part of my comeback tour, I've been spending a lot of time visiting the online community, and getting caught up on all the pointless bullshit that I've missed over the past 3 months. I think in 4 days, I visited over 300+ blogs, 38 news sites, and 4,829 fat lesbian porno sites.

I actually learned a few things while surfing the web! The first is, next time I decide to do something stupid like that I need to have a gun close by to end my misery caused by the endless amounts of crap that people are spewing these days, and secondly, watching two naked fat chicks getting down and dirty isn't going to get any better the 4,829th time around!

I'm sure theres some jack ass reading this right now thinking "well, this site aint so great either!", and that's true.

I know I suck, I accepted that a long time ago!

But what I don't understand is how so many people can just give shout outs to a blog that's even shittier than their own! When I leave your dump of a site, I expect that you'll atleast have the courtesy to direct someplace better. Alas, that just is not the case. I continuously see the same layouts, the same content about how someones going to make me get more traffic, or how I can make a buck doing this website shit (like I'm ever going to get paid for writing about selling my own piss!).

The point is, I'm bored, dammit!

I will admit, atelast 1 out of every 20 sites I visit, is actually worth my time, and sometimes, even fairly well written...but for the rest of you, you need to step up your game, or send me to someone who does!

Until that time, allow me to refer you to a few places that are much better than this shithole (see how this works people?):
Revellian
Razzy
Not A Pornstar

That is all!

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