Sunday, April 15th, 2007

Rapping At My Chamber Door
Posted @ 7:26am

My wife mentioned to me the other day, that this bird kept flying into our window. I guess he was cruising, smacked into our living room winow, got up, and did it again.

Just now, I'm sitting here, working on the post below, when I hear, whats sounds like poker chips shuffling.

I looked around, thinking I was crazy....cuz....well, I do play a lot of poker.

That's when I realized it was coming from upstairs.

I'm already fired up from the fucking nieghbors (see below), and now I'm thinking someones chucking shit at my apartment. When I got to the top of the stairs, I grabbed this stick that's in the closet....cuz I'm ready to fuck some people up, and I don't even know what's going on yet.

I follow the sound to the living room, and theres this fucking cardinal....smacking into my window, like there's some hot, sexy cardinal chick in my house, and he's trying to tap that sweet birdie ass.

I walked up to the window, and he flew off, then proceed to come back down to the basement, and bitch about my inbred neighbors some more.

When I finish the post, I hear that same damn sound again.

Now this time, I was positive it was poker chips!

I walk upstairs, and look out the window, and there's that same fucking cardinal...and he's pecking at my window.

I was raised by sci fi lovin nerds, so I automatically assume that maybe someone I know had gotten trapped inside a cardinals body, and was desperately trying to get my attention.

It seemed logical at the time.

Then I went and kicked my own ass.

This bird is fucking creepin me out. He keeps staring at me with his beady eyes.

Shit....isn't this how that one movie started?

Birds

I'm thinking I should probably go by a shotgun or something...

Then, when I'm done blowing away my nieghbors, I'll have some protection from this creepy bird.
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Sign The Wall//IM Me

Do You Know What Beef Is?
Posted @ 7:19am

Did I not just do a post on how awful my neighbors are, like yesterday?

I come home from my one overnight shift this month, and find their fucking car in my spot....fucking AGAIN! Not 3 days ago, did we just have a conversation with them.

Are they stupid?

STOP FUCKING PARKING IN MY SPOT BEFORE I SLASH YOUR TIRES, AND PISS IN YOUR GAS TANK! YOU STUPID WHITE TRASH HICKS!

Once again, BOTH of their spots are empty, and they're in mine.

I'm this close to towing their shit!

I actually think they might be trying to screw me. See, they park in my spot, so I park in theirs, and then they tow me. That's the kind of people they are!

Now I gotta go back over there for like the 5th time.

This is the last time I am showing them mercy. I have been a very, very, patient, calm, understanding person with these fucks!

I even worked up the biggest wad of spit and phlem that I could, on my 70 yard walk from the street. Spitting on their shit today wasn't enough.

I'm going to go stick some empty beer bottles under their tires!
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Sign The Wall//IM Me