Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

Scratching My Balls
Posted @ 3:08pm

The other day was peacefully napping, when I was suddenly awoke to a pounding on my front door. Knowing very well that no one comes to visit me, I ignored it, afterall, I was napping, it's rare I get time for that.

A few minutes later, the pounding on my door resumes. This time Cloey rushes down the stairs, thinking it might be one of the ugly kids outside, wanting her to come out and play.

She opened the door, and the porch was empty.

Confused, she shut the door, and continued her game with her imaginary brother.

The knocking starts again.

Now I'm fucking annoyed. I'm trying to fucking sleep! I am like an angry dragon when I am rudely awoken, I will breathe fire, and bite your head off!

I open the door, and no ones there. I now know whats going on. We did this as kids all the time thinking it's hilarious, it wasn't until that moment, that I realized it wasn't.

Cloey spotted 2 of the ugly little kids, running to our porch, knocking, and then running and hiding behind a couple of trees.

So I waited.

They would come back, they couldn't resist. I stood at the door, with my hand on the doorknob, ready to scare the piss outta these kids.

I waited 10 minutes, got bored, and went back to lay down.

The second I lay down, they come back and start knocking again!

I wait by the door for another few minutes, and then give up.

They didn't return that night, making me even angrier that I couldn't deliver my revenge upon these 5 year old kids!

When I thought it was over and done with, they came back today!

I had never been so thrilled to have an annoying prank played on me in my entire life. I had Clo be my lookout thru the window, and I resumed my spot by the door.

Patiently, I waited....

I heard footsteps begin to stomp on my porch thru the door.

I waited until the first knock began, and then immediately swung open the door, screaming --

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT???"

Turns out, it wasn't those 2 kids at all.

It was a little girl, who immediately ran away screaming and crying.

It's cool though, I don't like that little girl anyway!

Thank god I didn't try and mase them, like I originally planned!
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Digging My Own Grave
Posted @ 2:43pm

I am going to get so much shit for this. I finally broke down today and created a myspace page. Anyone who knows me, or comes here on a regular basis knows I'm biggest the Myspace hater on earth. In fact I've been quoted as saying on this site:

In reference to surfing through myspace pages --

if I ever do have enough time to look that deep into it, I hope I have a shotgun sitting next to me, so I can proceed to blow my brains out.

This still stands true. I hate Myspace with a passion.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people I know, running these pages. I don't get out so much anymore, so these pages are my only source for keeping tabs on everyone, including my wife. But some of you have to put your damn pages on private, preventing me from checking out whats going on in your lives...so I had to become a member.

Mine is pretty much a blank page with my picture on it, and a link to here. It's only purpose is to bring traffic here, and check up on people I know.

If theres anyone out there who would like to give me crap about this, please do so now, because if its still going on in a week, it's really going to piss me off.

I HAVE A MYSPACE PAGE! YOU WIN!
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