WhiteboyStyle.com //The Most Offensive Fucker Around//

Friday, September 7th, 2007

Theres Still Time
Posted @ 10:51am

Theres still time to vote on what Aaron and I should be for Halloween! Get those votes in people!

Cast Your Vote
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My Day In Traffic Court
Posted @ 10:27am

At the beginning of August, I got pulled over for driving with a suspended license. A few months prior, I had been pulled over for expired tags, and never gave proper proof of insurance to the BMV, which led to my suspension. Being the lazy fucker I am, I never did anything to resolve the problem, which caused me to get busted! After a continuance, to try and get my affairs in order, I finally had to have my day in Westerville's Mayors Court!

I don't know if any of you have ever been to traffic court, but if you've gotten busted for something embarrassing, every single person who is also there for court gets to hear all about it! There were probably about 30 people in the court room with me, all there for similar reasons, which is, doing something retarded. When your names called, you get to give your plea, and the prosecutor goes over the entire situation that led to you being there in the first place. Since he's doing it over a microphone, all the people stuck waiting, atleast get some sort of entertainment.

For example, there was this 24 year old, slutty looking girl, who got the pleasure of being first! She had brought along her 3 year old son, I'm assuming because she had no sitter...but that was her first mistake! Turns out, after reviewing the facts of the case, this girl was caught swerving down the street. She was pulled over, lied to the cops about being drunk, failed a breathalyser, and then had her car searched. After checking out the contents of her car, they found pot, coke, an open canister of booze, 3 pipes, and a tiny mirror covered in coke residue!

When the mayor (judge) asked her what she did for a living, she said:

"I work for a daycare!"

I tried to hold back my laughter....it was tough. But then I wanted to know what daycare this crazy bitch was working at!

After she was asked to give her plea, carrying her son in her arm, suddenly the speakers blared the loudest fart I've ever heard in my enitre life!

Her son, who's butt was aimed at the microphone, started rippin farts while she was trying to give her plea! I'm not talking just a few squeekers, this kid had some major gas going on! It was like 7 farts in a row! I was laughing so hard, tears came to my eyes!

Fucking hilarious! I wish I had it on tape!

Anyway, my shit was wrapped up in 2 minutes, seeing how my crime is minimal, noting too embarrassing, I got busted driving under suspension, no biggie! Thanks to my awesome lawyer, I was in and out! With the exception of the massive amount of money I now owe, things went pretty well!

And that's that! Next time I'm bored, I'm hanging out in traffic court!
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The Oprah Experiment: Day 2

Well, if the Day 1 wasn't bad enough, I could barely make it through Day 2 of Oprah. In fact, at one point, I wasn't even sure if I could follow through with this project, but I'm committed, and determined to find out why Oprah is Hollywoods Alpha Bitch!

Day 2: From Bitches to Riches

Today, Oprahs guests consisted of lonely housewives who overcame some sort of poverty struggle, and became millionaires! One of these women didn't even deserve it! She took a pair of rubber shoes, that come with holes in them, and stuck knick knacks in them, and sold them!

Are you fucking serious?

She stuck crap in holes of shoes! Shoes she didn't even make, and then sold them! Hell, she bought all the stuff from a hobby store! She sold her company to the company who made the shoes for 20 million dollars!

Lemme re-emphasize here!

She bought someones shoes

She bought someones knick knacks

She glued them together

And she made 20 fucking million dollars!

She middle manned the fuck outta someone, and became rich!

Although, then again, isn't that what America is all about?

The other women were even more boring....one cooked some food, one picked up some trash, and now they're rich!

Yippee!!

Well, so far, after Day 2 of this project, I still can't stand watching Oprah, and I am dreading Day 3. However, I have noticed some odd inspirational vibe she gives off. She actually had her audience inspired to go home, come up with a retarded idea, so they too could become millionaires. Hopefully, by the end of Day 5, I will have the answer to Oprahs secret power...until then though, I need a stick to repeatedly whack myself in the skull with for the next 3 days I have to watch that horrible, horrible show!

Join me next time, won't you?
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Oh No He Didint!
Posted @ 10:11am

I wanna make one thing perfectly clear!

If P. Diddy ever came to my house at 3am, rolling deep with 30 members of his Bad Boy Family, telling me he wants me to open my restaurant because he's fucking hungry, I would slam the fucking door in his face!

"I'm hungry, yalls closed!"

"Hey, douche bag, it's fucking 3am, go to the god damn Waffle House, jack ass!"

*SLAM*

Sorry....just had to get that off my chest!
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