Memories Of April 15th, 2001

It was the first day of Spring Break, my senior year of High School. While the rich kids planned trips to Hawaii, and Myrtle Beach, those of us who lived in the real world planned havoc upon the town known as Worthington.

I had been looking forward to this particular day for months. Not because I was free from school for a week...I had other plans in mind.

She had confessed her love for me one month prior. I remember our very first connection, on a cold february night, in Megan McKinneys basement. With the black light on, and the strange goth like metal playing in the background, we sat on this couch and talked for hours.

"I can tell I can trust you, because I can look you in the eyes...I can't do that to most people."

It was that moment that I realized, this girl was amazing. Sadly, there are days when I wake up from nightmares, and wished I had never been there that night.

We had a secret relationship. Our closest friends didn't even know the truth of us. It made things a little more fun. We told no one...we couldn't, for this girl, that was the reason I woke up in the morning, wasn't really mine. She belonged to another man. One who was very close to me.

He and I had met before the school year began. His odd sense of humor helped him fit into our group immediately. Halfway through the school year, he rocked us with news that he was moving away. In retrospect, it was for the best, although it was devastating to hear at the time.

Only a 45 minute drive away, we regularly went to visit, and bring him back to our stomping grounds of Worthington. Often I would hear him speak of this girl, who also had recently moved away. How she was the greatest thing to walk the earth, and how he yearned for the day that she would return home, so they could be together again.

January 1st, 2001....she came home to Worthington.

I had met her at Megans, while trying to obtain a phone number of my latest infatuation. Our first impressions of eachother were.....not pleasant. Days passed, and we began to adjust to eachother, she became another member of my constant growing clique of friends.

We brought him back to town, as we normally did. He was thrilled that his dream girl had returned home, and they spent the weekend together catching up on old times.

I had began to notice, since his move, he was changing. There was a dark auora begining to flow through him...

Inner Demons

She had learned in February, that all these months, where she had thought she was his only one, he had another secretly hidden on the side. We were all aware of it, but who were we to interfere, he was our boy, the one on the side was in our group, and she was the new girl to the circle.

She was crushed. As she spoke to me on that cold February night, she told me she was done with him. His next trip back wasn't until Spring Break.

That's when she would give him the news.

She wanted to tell him to his face....to crush his world like he had done to her.

As for the one on the side....she had a different fate for her.

Our secret relationship began in March. She continued to lie to him, and make him believe they were still an item, even though she made the desicion to end it weeks ago. The weeks kept passing, and he kept growing darker, and darker.

They would chat online late at night. He would devise ways to mentally manipulate her. He began calling himself her God. He believed he was the puppetmaster, and everyone else were sheep in the herd. She was startled by this in the begining. It scared her to see that this person she cared about was conveying such awful images about her and their friends.

At the same time, it fascinated her. She began to study his rants, and preachings. She too wanted to gain the power to take someones emotions in her hand, and crush their soul without a hint of remorse.

She told me the plan of his Spring Break return. He would be in town the whole week...she wanted him out of the way as quickly as possible. She wanted to break him down using his own sick and twisted game. He believed they were still together....she wanted to make him look like the fool he truely was.

It was April 15th, 2001, the first day of Spring Break, my senior year of High School.

I remember that night well.

He came into town as planned. A few of us decided on watching movies in Megans basement. Unfortunately, I became the 5th wheel. Megan with her man, and my secret love with him....me on the couch, alone, in this dark cold basement.

I put on my game face, for the things I saw them do together down there drove me to extreme rage. I knew it was to keep up appearances. Shortly, she would end it...and I could expose our secret to everyone.

The movie ended...and we decided on a walk to the park. The final phase of her plan. This was where it was going to end.

I followed behind the others...trying to keep my cool. I remember feeling the cool spring breeze blow as I desprately tried to keep my eyes fixed on the ground.

They all played around on the jungle gym. I sat alone atop the monkey bars, staring at the moon....waiting.

Patiently waiting.

They had called me over to the group. The moment I had been waiting for.

The two of them stood in front of me. She looked at him.

"I have something to tell you...Teddy has been hitting on me, trying to steal me away from you. He believes you are weak, and dumb. But I've denied his advances. I've played him, to make you proud!"

I stood there speechless.

I didn't know what to say. Had this girl just backstabbed me?

Was I being played?

He didn't know what to think either. We were boys, like brothers, had I screwed him over? He was the crazy one, he was unfaithful, she wanted nothing to do with him, and I had been with her.

She looked at me and said,

"You are nothing to me. You are the mouse, and I am the cat, and when I get bored pouncing you, I will toss you aside, knowing that when I have the urge again you'll be there waiting for you to let me smack you around some more."

I remember that night well.

A part of me died right then and there. I was in the presence of a person that I thougt was my soul mate. She took my emotions in her hand, and crushed them without a hint of remorse.

That was the real plan the entire time. To prove that she was better than the other woman he had. She too could play his sick game, and come out on top. I was a trophy.

I remember feeling the cool spring breeze blow as I desprately tried to keep my eyes fixed on the ground.

It was me, the moon, and the stars.

I awoke the next day a different person, in a different world. Untrusting of my closest friends. They were all aware of it, but who were they to interfere, she was their girl, and I was the new one to the circle.

I never thought I could experience a pain that could exceed that night.

I'm smarter now. Stronger, wiser, more prepared.

I see all

I hear all

I know all

One way or the other I will find the truth

Only because...

I remember that night well.