Ask Ed Philly

Do you have a burning question that needs to be answered? Are your friends too drunk, busy, or stupid to give you any decent advice?

Why not Ask Ed Philly?

Sure, I will most likely give you the worst advice ever, but atleast you’ll have someone to blame when you wind up in jail!

E-mail me: edphilly@whiteboystyle.com

Name: Sara Wyndall

Subject: Ask Ed

Hey Ed,

I feel crazy even doing this, but I have run out of options of how to handle this. My b/f and I have been together for about two years. A few months ago he began running around with a group of low lifes, and picked up a nasty cocaine habbit! I’ve tried begging him to quit, and have even extended the ultimatum of the coke or me, but I can’t seem to get through to him. He’s now unemployed, I make good money, but I think he is taking money out of my purse to support his habbit. What can I do?

Thanx,

Sarah

Wow! To quote the late Rick James, “Cocaine is a helluva drug!”

When my wife thinks I’m drinking too much, she’ll often tie me to a chair, and pour endless amounts of booze down my throat. The theory is, I’ll get soooo wasted, that I’ll never want to touch booze again. I think you should try a similar approach.

Go out, and buy as much coke as you can! I mean A LOT! Pour it all out on your kitchen table, and let your boyfriend go at it Tony Montana style! If you’re lucky, he’ll get so sick of it, he’ll never want to touch the crap again…..

Or he’ll O.D.

Either way, sounds like a real win-win to me! Thanks for reading!

Name: Travis

Subject: question

hey bro! i got this job stocking shelfs and my boss is a total DICK!!! im thinkin i shuld walk out on him what do u think???????

The first thing that comes to mind is, stay and school, and get a damn good spell checker, but I’m guessing the school ship has already sailed!

We all hate our bosses, that’s what they’re there for, to make you hate life! If you don’t like the job, you should totally quit, but don’t forget to make a dramatic scene, flip some people off, and slash your bosses tires before go! Oh, if you get the chance, pushing over a little old lady will help emphasize your point too!

Besides, a winner like you won’t be unemployed for long. I imagine there’s a line of head hunters ready to swoop you to stock their “shelfs”.

You’re going to make a lot of illigitmate children very proud one day, I know it